
Customer is always (left) right (out)
Remember those recent banking awards where every bank in the country
seems to have won some major gong. Must be a lot like the laughing
clowns at the Ekka, where every child player wins a prize!
The NAB (formerly known at the National) has been spending a motza
in the media lately boasting about their particular gong - the
bank that "looked after its customers the best" prize.
In the 1pm to 3pm sub-division. Only joking!
I don't begrudge NAB their win, but I do wonder about their boast
that they always put their customers first. I was given the task
last week of going to the NAB's pretty little historic building
on the corner of Edward and Queen streets in the city to pick
up some documents for a friend.
Now, is there anyone out there in Indieland who gets as miffed
as your Ann about a lack of signage to help customers in any store
- be it a bank, a post office, whatever? And are some of you of
sufficient vintage to remember the times you've waited in the
wrong queue knowing deep down in your little heart of hearts that
you're not in the right place, and that, sure enough, you're going
to be told exactly that when you finally shuffle to the front.
Anyway, your Ann was in good spirits as she entered the award-winning,
customers-come-first NAB in the city, where she immediately looked
for a sign that said something like GENERAL INQUIRIES or HELP
DESK or SERVICE DESK. You know, the sort of sign you'd expect
to see from a bank now spending a motza thanking its customers
for helping it win the bank that, well, you know.
There were a handful of tellers working away with customers, but
your Ann is old and wise enough to know you don't go there. As
I wandered around the centre, looking for a sign that said something
like GENERAL INQUIRIES or HELP DESK or SERVICE DESK, I did notice
two work stations where two square-shaped backlit signs did announced
four services: New Accounts. Investments. Home Loan Inquiries,
Credit Cards.
I'm not sure what my friend's documentation entailed, but I didn't
think it would be any of those. Surely not. I wandered over anyway.
One of the stations wasn't staffed, and a customer being serviced
at the other seemed to be faced with a complex problem likely
to last longer than my lunchbreak.
Standing in line for a wee while, I then spied, just to my right,
a sign that said: PRE-ARRANGED COLLECTIONS. Now, hands up out
there in Indieland who share the opinion I formed at the time
that such a spot might just be the ideal place to make a pre-arranged
collection? Okay, hands down. And I thank you for that overwhelming
vote of support.
I pressed the quaint little bell besides the Prearranged Collections
sign. It looked just like the one Dustin Hoffman hit at the hotel
reception to book his room with Mrs Robinson. Away across the
way, a woman looked over from her little workbooth, and made her
way over. I told her I was here to collect some documents. This
area, she haughtily informed me, was for collecting cheques or
some such thing. Well, excuse me, I thought to myself, how dare
I not be up to speed on commonly used and internationally recognised
banking nomenclature.
It was then that I might have made the comment, a little sternly
to match her own manner perhaps, that I wouldn't have needed to
bother her if I'd been able to spy anywhere in the branch that
vaguely suggested itself to be a place one might go to for GENERAL
INQUIRIES or HELP DESK or SERVICE DESK.
She waved across the room, saying it was over there. She turned
to another employee and said gruffly: "Please look after
this gentleman" before turning abruptly on her heels.
I said to this male employee: "That lady has pointed over
there somewhere and made it quite clear there's a general help
desk or inquiries desk I've missed. Please show me where it is
as I'm feeling a little silly right now." Right where we
were, apparently. Under the signs that said New Accounts. Investments.
Home Loan Inquiries. Credit Cards.
To be fair, this young chap was most polite, and quickly found
my documents, but as I left, I pondered what ever happened to
that quaint old rule of business that went: the customers are
always right. And thought that maybe the NAB is no different from
the other banks: they badly want you as customers, but just not
in person. After all, staff wages cut down on profits, don't they?