CANCER (June 22 to July 23)
During a recent downfall your partner suggests you buy a tank, which you do, but its treads completely ruin your driveway.

LEO (July 24 to Aug 23)
Driving along with your fuel gauge light glowing, you fondly recall the good old days when petrol was only $1 a litre.

VIRGO (Aug 24 to Sept 23)
You fully support and completely disagree with the Labor councillors' decision to vote for and oppose Lord Mayor Newman's latest city budget.

LIBRA (Sept 24 to Oct 23)
Millions of dollars come your way after you go into the IT business and start selling anti-virus software that actually works.

SCORPIO (Oct 24 to Nov 22)
But then you realise billions could come your way if you do what all the other anti-virus software makers do - design and spread viruses.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23 to Dec 22
You spend sleepless nights wonder why the designers of the Microsoft Excel spreadsheet software made the default number of pages 65,536.

CAPRICORN (Dec 23 to Jan 20)
Your work day - and productivity - in the public service turns into a disaster when the left-hand flipper on your desktop Pinball game starts to malfunction badly.

AQUARIUS (Jan 21 to Feb 19)
Okay, maybe we should have won against Italy and still be alive in the World Cup - but it didn't happen so can we stop talking about soccer ALL THE BLOODY TIME!

PISCES (Feb 20 to Mar 20)
You wonder if it's true that Level 4 water restrictions, if they ever need to be enforced, mean we can't even drink the stuff!

ARIES (Mar 21 to Apr 20)
You reckon the City Council's doing such a good job you've decided to vote for both the Liberal and Labor candidates for Lord Mayor at the next municipal poll.

TAURUS (Apr 21 to May 20)
You still reckon soccer supporters have a lot to answer for, seeing that the so-called beautiful game is played out on its highest stage - with prizemoney in the zillions - without the aid of video refs to sort out those penalty-shot rulings that often decide the outcome.

GEMINI (May 21 to June 21)
Still, you're happy that the Italian player who fell over Lucas Neill is now being approached by Hollywood talent scouts.